And so it begins...

The only other time I've been blindsided by this kind of anguish was in 2009 when I learned that my little brother had suddenly died at the age of 27. Shock, fear, despair, disbelief, grief—need I say more?

And now how is it possible that I'm truly mourning a situation that seems so far removed from my everyday life? What am I mourning? Who is missing from my life I cannot easily live without? 

I lament the loss of a kind, humorous, intelligent, thoughtful, and sane president. I mourn the loss of a beautiful, scandal-free family in the White House. I deplore the loss of decency, manners, and not having to hear the word pussy so often. My heart aches for our country so divided and confused. I regret that my young son will go from a presidential role model to an erratic fool.

Yesterday I shook with fear. Today I stomp my boots and yell at the groundlessness of this godforsaken situation.

From this fear and darkness, indelible energy arises. We gather, we march for all that we hold to be true and good, we draw on this radical spirit, we use it to further our undeniable beliefs, beliefs that we are all in this together so we can, each and every one of us, live our lives, not just satisfactorily but completely. Completely without being hindered by racist thugs who are too afraid to stop for a moment, glance within at that untouched feeling, and breathe. Just breathe. We will hold this vitality in our hearts and run with it until the very last shadow is exposed. Are you in? Are you ready to expose the naked, ugly truth of our unsettled selves and our fickle society? It won't be pretty, I can promise you that. There will be death, destruction, and humiliation—I'm sure of it. The forgotten underbelly of our society—shoved aside, pushed away, all but forgotten—shines in all of its witnessed glory. 

Groundlessness. Whether we are aware of it or not, we're always groundless. You actually do not have control and neither does he. When the rug is pulled out from under us, we suddenly wake up—whoa! Only to realize there never was ground, no control. You think it's his fault? Blame leads to expanding neurosis. Stop. Breathe. What are you feeling? So, feel it. Have you ever done just that? This simple feat will change the world, one person at a time. Try it. And try it again.

We want to know what to work on. We're itching to help the world become a better place by doing what it takes to oppose this person we know is in the wrong. That guy needs some serious, honest-to-goodness, heavy-duty, deep-seated help. Well, we're hooked. Worked up. Acting in the same ol', same ol' way. Now's the absolute perfect time to take a look at ourselves instead of pointing a finger at him, at them. My mom once told me that when I point my finger at someone else I actually have three fingers pointing back at myself and one up at God. Put that in your pipe and smoke it. Or better yet, just breathe.

OK, so now what? And now? And forever...now?